Dunn Dunn Duuunnnnnn!! I've really been putting off writing this since it wasn't at all what I thought/wanted it to be..but I realize I just need to suck it up and write it out..and never think of it again! haha so here goes:
It started on Thursday, December 28th when I thought I might be "leaking" my water. I wasn't sure and I didn't want to go to the hospital only to be told I was peeing my pants or something so I called up there instead. The nurse I spoke with told me it was most like discharge but if I was truly concerned I could come. I had a dr. appt the next morning anyway so I figured I would just wait and ask the dr in the morning. He checked me and had me cough while he was doing that, no fluid leaked and his office didnt have any of the paper amnio test strips so he said to not worry but go to L&D that night if I was still having the problem.
We spent the day in Wimberley visiting B's family for the 2nd day in a row and the rides to and from were excrutiating. I wasn't sure if I was contracting or if she was sitting on a nerve. The pain was relieved once I could get out of the car and walk around. There didn't seem to be much of pattern to the pain so I didn't worry about it. It seems like I've been having painful contractions since 30 weeks so I assumed it was my irritable uterus. By the end of the day, I was still concerned with the amount of leakage so I called the hospital and was told I should come and get checked. We went straight there and once again I was in horrible pain the whole way in the car.
We arrived in Georgetown in record time and got checked in. I was pretty positive it was my water and I had been telling everyone my baby would arrive on the 28th. B told me he would bet 1 million dollars that it was just discharge and we would be sent home in an hour. The nurse came in and swabbed me and then promptly left. I heard her talking to my dr. outside my door but when he asked for the results I couldn't hear her answer. I knew it was postive. Sure enough, he came in and said it looks like we're having a baby! I experienced so many emotions..JOY..anxiousness...excitement. B kinda freaked out and kept saying he needed to leave to get stuff fromt he house. Seriously, it took all I had to nail him down there until I got hooked up to my IV. The dr. warned that because I was still 0 cm dialated, it would likely be a long and hard two days until delivery. He told us not to start calling people or anything, just relax and settle in.
They hooked up my IV and inserted Cervadil to help me dialate. B went home to get our bags. About 30 minutes after he left, the pain hit me like a mack truck! It wasn't so much in waves as one constant wave. I was getting scared. I tried calling B about a thousand times but he had left the phone in the car. I called my friend holly and my sis Maile but couldnt really talk because the pain was getting intense. Oh, I had no idea just how bad it would be.
When the pain hit 9/10 the nurse suggested I receive Stadol (not sure if that's how its spelled) so I could get some rest. I thought rest sounded great so I said yes. As soon as they gave it to me, Baby A's heart stopped beating. The nurse had me get on hands and knees and tried to find her heartbeat. She finally did but it was SO SLOW. The nurse freaked out..started calling people. I freaked out. At this point, I was pretty sure B had wrecked the car and my baby was dying. It was a truly scary moment. I wish I could say I prayed in this moment but I was so stunned I couldnt really think. Soon, Baby A's heart returned to normal. Whew!
B came back and I was pretty drugged up from the Stadol. I was so relieved to see him but showed that by cursing him out and demanding to know what took so long (it was over 2 hours!). A nurse came in and told me to keep it down. Ooops, not my proudest moment. But this is the raw, unedited version.
The nurse came back in and gave me Ambien to try to get me to sleep. Again, they kept assuring me it was going to be at least 24-48 hours. B got comfy on his little couch and we both slept. About 2 hours later I woke up in pure agony. I was in so much pain I couldn't talk or move. I was trying to wake B up to get a nurse but he was totally out and I could barely say his name. Eventually, he woke up. The nurse came in and suggested Nubane (again, not sure if thats how its spelled). I was okay with anything at that point. Sadly, the Nubane did absolutely nothing. I couldn't even tell they had given me something.
I was puking and as I was puking my water would gush out. It was nasty. B would have to unhook my monitors and drag my IV to the bathroom about every 5 mins. I felt like I need to go #2 and the nurse was nowhere to be found. This is where it all went to hell. There was stuff coming out of every hole in my body, I couldn't stop shaking, and there were absolutely no breaks in the contractions. The monitor showed a spike and then it just never went down. I was cursing and crying and screaming.
At one point, the alarms were going off on the machines and I called the nurse. She asked if it was an emergency (apparently this was the busiest night to have a baby in Georgetown). Uh, how the heck should I know if it's an emergency..that is your job. Ugh, that nurse was so horrible. She kept promising me pain relief and it would never come. She didn't answer our calls. B was pretty much my nurse and we both hadn't prepared for that. Poor guy!
I wish I could relate the level of pain but there are no words for it. I couldn't open my eyes and I felt like I had left Earth and was living in some hellish planet full of pain and torture. It never stopped. Not even for a second. I think I could've handled it better if I had even a 10 second break between contractions but for hours and hours it was non stop. I was screaming (another embarrassment), crying, cussing...I was holding on to the side of the bed for dear life. I felt like every single bone in my back was being crushed at the same time. Oh gosh..it was so bad! The nurse came in at one point and yelled that I needed to relax. Oh gee, ya think? She was such a biatch. I was also so boiling hot. Poor B had his clothes on with his heavy jacket over that and all the blankets and was still cold. I was sweating and shaking at the same time. He kept asking if I was cold. Seriously, giving birth is no joke.
In between my cursing tirade I asked B to pray. I thought I would die and I welcomed it over the pain.
Around 7 am I got a new nurse (answered prayer!). I was writhing there on the bed and felt a cool hand hold my hand. She said her name was Erin and she was my new nurse. She started directing me on how to breathe. She breathed with me and counted. I wish I had prepared more for the birth but I thought as long as I was getting an epidural I wouldn't need to. Wrong-O! Even though the pain was the same, Erin was like an angel. She kept me from screaming though I was still crying and cussing and chewing my pillow.
Around that time, I was 2 cm dialated. They needed me at 4 to give me the epidural. At 7:30 I hit 4 cms and relief was coming. Carol did my epidural. It was all I could do to keep still long enough. Like I said, there were no breaks in the contractions so there wasn't a safe point to do it. I just grabbed the nurse and the bed rail and held on tight. I barely felt the epidural and what I felt wasn't pain. Seriously, I have a whole new pain scale now and nothing will ever be more than a 4/10. The epidural kicked in pretty fast but the back pain didn't stop for about 20-30 mins. In that amount of time I progressed from the 4 to a 10. It was time to push!!
I did a couple practice pushes with Erin who told me to act like I'm trying to poop. Easy peasy. The doc came in a little bit later and I started pushing with all I had.
After three big pushes the doc said her head was out and asked if I wanted to feel it. B and I both said "NO!" ..haha we just wanted her out. Two more pushes and she came out! Wow! Another feeling that is hard to describe. I looked at B right away and his face was red with tears in his eyes. He kissed me and I was crying. I kept saying OH MY GOD Oh my God I love you I love you I love you! I will never forget that moment.
She was wet so they wiped her off and B cut the cord. They immediately put her on me and I breastfed her for an hour. She has a very strong latch and she was pretty hungry! I was in such a daze between the pain of labor and the drugs but even in that, I fell in love..so hard! She was/is so beautiful and perfect. I adore her chubby cheeks and finger-like toes. She was definitely fearfully and wonderfully made! I thanked God for trusting me to take care of her for him.
Okay, Im done. this was crazy long but Im hoping now thats its all on paper I can forget it. They say you forget the pain right away but there aren't enough years for me to forget that. My doc said that in over 6,000 births he had never seen what happened to me happen. oh, joy. So to sum up, she was delivered within 12 hours of arriving at the hospital and it was horrible but in the end I was given this beautiful gift. I am so grateful and so happy to be her mommy.
We just took her newborn pics with Abby (Abby G Photography). Here is a sneak peak:
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